Recognition
by MelloWantsYou
Summary: Mello's guilty about killing his parents, and thinks that no-one can ever love him - until he meets his new room-mate at Wammys.  WARNING: YAOI FLUFF  LEMONZ IN LATER CHAPTERS...
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR NOTE: **

**Hallo people of FanFiction :D This is my first ever FanFic and I wanted it to be about something that im really addicted to at the moment... so I now bring you some MelloXMatt goodness that I had been writing for sometime noww... **

**Please review and tell meh what ya think? I know its gonna be pretty crap but lets just see how it goes shall we?**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters used... Mello does. (Including Matty) O_o**

**Enjoyy! ^^ **

**Mello's P.O.V**

It all started in Wammys house.

I wanted to forget how I got here, forget what I did, lie until I didn't need to lie anymore. I just went by what they told me. They thought I was stupid. They thought that a blond haired, blue eyed, monster boy' would find no interest in the events that were to shape the rest of my life entirely. This day would ruin my train of thought for the rest of my life.

And I nearly died when they found out the truth.

I was 14. And I was studying for the up-coming Mid-Term exam I had, studying so hard for what I believed to be the only refuge I would ever have - becoming the successor to the great detective L. He was someone who I looked up to more than anyone. I had sworn to myself that I was to beat that albino kid 'Near' in order to get what I wanted. I was spoiled that way. I suddenly heard a knock at the door, and I quickly went to open it. It was Roger.

Ah God how I hated him so much.

"Mello, I need you to come with me a second, its important..." I became quickly intrigued as to what he was going to say.

"Well why don't you just tell me. I'm kinda busy right no-"

"NO MELLO. Its to do with your parents... passing."

By the time he had finished his sentence I had already dropped my 'Quadratic functions' text book and stepped out the door, tears welling in my eyes at the mere mention of my parents. He led me to his office. I stood still, waiting for him to start, for which I spoke.

"Listen, if you were doing this just to wind me up, you picked a pretty shit time to do it, I've got Mid-Terms coming up and I refuse to -"

I was cut off by a stern look in Roger's face. It scared me a little - back to when I used to get scared easily, when I used to wish that my mum would suddenly come out from behind my bedroom curtains in my room during my nightmares, and send me to sleep.

I was a lonely child, who used to have nightmares about stuff I couldn't remember. People were always so distant of me when ever I used to go outside, and they always made sure that they stayed friendly until I disappeared. I hated it, the fact that I wasn't allowed to hear the hurtful things that everyone said about me looking like a girl, or the fact that I take pride in looking my best. In truth, I needed someone to _love me_ as much as I wanted to be loved my everyone.

I was never loved.

And I thought I was never going to be loved for my whole life...

"Mello..." Roger began. "I think its time that you finally learn _the truth_ as to why your here. Your old enough now to deal with i-"

"WHAT? YOUR FREIKIN TELLING ME NOW?"

I found myself strangling him there on the spot - with all the pain and the hurt raging through my tense body as I quickly let my emotions get the better of me, tears poring down my eyes. After 5 seconds I regrettably loosened my hands and let Roger talk.

"Gahh, Mello, I wish you wouldn't do that..."

"Well HOW THE FUCK am I supposed to fucking respond to something like this, something that I have been questioning for the whole time I've been here? I can't fucking always be like Near and just stay calm and use my head. Its like he's not even _human..._"

I felt the tears come back, but tried to hold them - _I refused to become an emotional wreck in front of Roger._

He continued.

"Just be quiet. I'm very sorry to report this to you Mello, but... your parents were killed by a killer that you have known your whole life. By someone who you know better then all of us do, someone-"

He didn't need to say the rest. I wasn't second best for nothing.

I felt regret as I listened, knowing full well what he was about to say, wondering what on earth convinced him to tell me the truth about my parents - knowing full well what had happened, was just too real. They called me 'Monster child' for a reason. My heart ached.

"You killed them Mello. YOU."

There was silence for about 30 seconds, followed by a brief awkward cough, and then I spoke.

"I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve anything. I don't deserve to _die._"

And with that, I ran out of the office. I had lost the will to live.

That night I had nightmares. Nightmares of the most disturbing kind, the ones that could make you hurl if you tried to recreate them. I suddenly woke up, feeling weak at the knees and dizzy. I reached out for my stash of chocolate that I always kept for emergencies like this, tore the wrapper off and took a deep bite into the brown, blissful shape. I felt a bit better, but not even chocolate could take away the pain of what I had happened the previous evening. But I needed something that could.

I awoke from my scrambled thoughts, to something completely unexpected.

Roger was standing at the side of my bed, waiting for me to wake up. I took one look at him, and shook my head.

"Fuck off old man, I don't need you to tell m-"

"I'm not here about that Mello. I'm here to inform you of a specific change we will be making to your sleeping arrangements..."

Suddenly, a random boy came in from the open door - he looked very strange - goggles, a stripy T-shirt, Red hair... _who was this guy?_

"Who's this kid?" I sat up and flung my chocolate bar wrapper from the previous night into the bin as I said it.

"This is Matt, he will be sharing your room from now-on." He then spoke faster and moved swiftly to the right, to avoid any chance I'd have to go for his neck again.

"Please try and be understanding Mello, Matt has no-where else to go since his parents died, and everyone else has a roommate..."

"Well what about Nears room? He has no roomma-"

"He needs his privacy - He's the number one here at wammys, and he needs all the room he can get..."

"Oh well, I don't want a fucking roommate..."

"I'm not asking Mello."

Roger turned around and headed for the door. Matt put down his suitcase next to the spare bed across the room and flung himself on the white bed sheets, pulling out a DS and starting to play the games he knew too well.

"ROGER I HATE YOU"

Roger looked back, and went out of the room.

I had hated him even more for that.

An awkward silence filled the room, as the blackness inside me continued to melt my heart.

"So" I said finally said sharply - with hatred in my voice. "Matt was it? Let me just get something very clear in that _gamer_ head of yours... You are to stay clear of me at all times, not talk to me, not look at me, not to ask questions, and above all - STAY AWAY FROM MY CHOCOLATE..."

He didn't even flinch. He just nodded and continued playing his game.

I felt annoyed. I felt angry. I felt depressed - _so much so that I wanted to die, but death was too good for me._

He then looked up. He stared at me nearly to breaking point - making me even more angry, and just smiled.

"You know, you can tell me what's up, I am your roommate now after all..."

"But I've only met you for 5 seconds, and you expect me to tell everything to you right this second?"

I couldn't hold it any longer. I broke into a million pieces and the flood of tears took over my face in a hot, red fury.

Minutes passed before either of us said anything, for I was facing the floor, letting my tears take over my mind completely.

Then a remarkable thing happened.

Matt walked over to where I was sitting. He suddenly swallowed me in an embrace that I was too upset not to take. This was the first time a person had ever hugged me. I was liking the warmth of his arms and chest, as he clenched his arms around my body. I felt a new feeling take over me, the feeling, of _happy ness_?

He let go of me and looked into my icy blue eyes, as I hesitantly dropped my arms around him.

"You can tell me anything."

A slight blush danced along my pale white cheeks. I jolted my head down to try and hide it. I hadn't felt like this before, a sea of new emotions replacing the old ones of depression, jealousy and anger - with hope, honesty and _love._

But why with this guy?

**FLUFFEH XD**

**Yep, that's it for now :D**

**I promise that I shall have chapter 2 up before the end of this week.**

**Might have lemonz in it, might not - depends what you guys want ^^**

**PLEASE REVIEW - IT'L MAKE MEH SO HAPPY **


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

**Heyy readers :) sorry about the wait for the second instalment, I promise the next ones will be done faster, as school is catching up with me and my mum's giving me a hard time for writing this kind of stuff (ULTRA Christian), and its all getting weird (But don't worry, I wont reflect any of my troubles in my fictions XD)**

**So here you are, enjoy your Matty/Mello FLUFFEHNESS :DD**

**WARNING: Contains some disturbing material. Don't read if your screamish (It IS rated 'M' after all...)**

**CONTAINS YAOI: - DoN't LiKe It, DoN't ReAd.**

**Matt's P.O.V:**

Life is just a game.

And my life, was a war.

It all started when I was just a child. I was living a happy life, a life that most 11 year olds who love their mother live. I was used to playing my video games, going to school - even though I had no friends, living my life to as much extent as a 11 year old _could_ live his life...

...Until HE came.

This man I had never seen before, suddenly taking my mother away from me. MY mother. My mother who seemed so independent without a man in her life, but had to crack when he gashed his pearly white teeth at her and made her blush. It made _me _draw back with a Grimace.

And until Wammy's, I was never hugged or properly loved by my mother, or _anyone_ again.

I did try liking him, but this led to me being spat at and pushed away.

But he had worse things to do on his mind.

He used to take me into this darkened basement room and do things to me - torture me, beat me until I couldn't stand, make me drink things that tasted funny and worst of all, send me to the hospital when there was nothing wrong with me, making the doctors believe I had all of these diseases and giving me all these drugs which nearly _killed_ me.

But I had started to hate life.

And I didn't shed a tear for him when he died of overdose.

But my mum, no-longer the independent man-free woman she was, was distraught with sadness.

She knew what this _man_ was doing to me, she knew all the things he said were just lies and cover ups, but she still loved him - loved him enough to take herself out of this world, for _good._

By this time I was 13, and had always been on my Nintendo DS that I had _begged _my mum for, when that _man_ was still at his 'work' that he had always come back late from.

She was fine with out him, but when he came back she completely changed into this person I no-longer knew.

It was 8 in the morning, and I was at home, playing my DS to my hearts content, unaware of what my mother was about to do. She came into the room:

"Mail..." Her voice sounded saddened, tear ridden, but still as squeaky as it was before.

"MAIL..? Look at me when I'm talking to you..."

I looked up, unaware that this would be the last time I'd ever see her alive.

"What is it mum? Is everything alright?" My voice sounded crisp and clear, but deeper then it was when it all started. I was going through puberty after all.

"Well sweety, I'm just want to say I love you, I love you so much Mail. And I'm sorry."

And with that, she darted off to the bathroom, with a pair of scissors in hand.

I looked back at her walking off, and continued to play my game - she said those things nearly everyday so I was completely used to it all being Bullshit. But not this time.

I heard a loud, piercing scream coming from the bathroom followed by a echoing thud. I put my game down, and walked over to the bathroom door. There was no sound - a deathly silence bouncing into my ears. I knocked on the door...

"Mum...Mother...MOTHER...MUM...HELLO?"

Anger completely took over me, and I tried knocking down the door. I pushed and pushed and pushed until I heard it budge - still with no answer from my mother.

I then realised.

And I called the police straight away, feeling slightly sickened by what I thought had happened inside the walls of the bathroom.

And the police came right away.

I was told to sit down on the sofa in the living room, while the police checked the bathroom, and came out in dismay.

The leader came over to me, and sat next to me - giving me a look that said 'condolence' all over it.

"Listen, I don't know how to tell you this young man, but, your mother's... not here anymore."

I felt pain in my heart as he said those horrible words.

"I know..." I ended up saying as I tried so hard to hold back the tears I was about to cry.

"Well, you know you can't stay here with no parents to look after you, do you have any other family?"

I shook my head. I had my mother, and that was it.

"Right then."

The man got up and walked over to this figure in a suit, whispering something in his ear, and looking at me.

The suited man got out his phone and made a call.

The call that changed my life forever.

The police man looked at me, and shouted.

"How quickly can you pack young man?"

"I'm already packed, this is all I have..."

"Good, so you'll leave straight away."

The suited man looked at me, and gave me a suitcase.

"I figured you wouldn't have anything of your own, so I got you a few bits of clothing as soon as we got the call. There is always a slight chance that the kid involved with something like this is...orphaned."

"Orphaned?"

The word rang loud and clear inside my ears, as I sat inside the man's car. I knew that it was dangerous to talk to strangers, But I had nothing to lose, as I had already just lost my life a few hours ago.

I was crying for the whole journey...

...And we arrived in the nick of time.

"This is it." The man took out a sheet of paper that had information about me on it, and walked on to the front of the house.

I trailed along behind him.

"What is this place?..."

"Its called 'Wammys House' young man, and it shall be your new home until you want to leave - or until _Roger_ lets you leave..."

"Roger? Who's Roger?"

"The man your about to meet..."

As he said those words, an old man came out of the front doors and greeted me with a scornful look. I felt like shit.

The old man spoke:

"Is this... him?"

The suited man replied swiftly:

"Yes, this is him, this is 'Mail Jeevas'.

"Huh right..."

He looked down at me, and said:

"Your new name is... 'Matt'. Remember this name, it will guard your life here with us.

"...Matt...?" I looked at him funny, the old man who I had already started to hate - so much had happened to me in such a small space of time.

"Yes Matt, My name is Roger, and I am the caretaker here at Wammys House. Feel free to make your self at home."

And with that, I said thank you and good bye to the suited man, as he drove off, and entered to building of what was now, my _only home._

I stood on the brown carpet, to find rows of doors with room numbers, a huge hallway, and a few classroom doors. I looked at Roger.

"Are these... all rooms?"

"Yes they are Matt, This is after all an orphanage AND a school in one. And you need to get your answers right in order to stand a chance of EVER getting out of here with qualifications..."

I was distracted by the amount of rooms there were - to distracted to listen.

"...Where will I be sleeping?"

"...Ah well, there is only one room left with a space. I'm afraid you shall have to room there with a boy who I personally _don't like..._

"What's his name?"

"...Mello."

"Mello...?"

That name... would one day make me so happy.

We walked up to this Mello's room. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about meeting my new roommate, but I wasn't planning on talking to him anyway. I never talk to anyone.

We arrived, and Roger opened the door with a loud noise, which seemed to startle something buried inside the bed sheets on this 'Mello's bed.

Suddenly, his head came out from under the covers.

And I had felt something I had never felt before.

His hair was golden, short hair which seemed to cut to shoulder length, and was wearing black pyjamas which complemented his hair. But what I noticed most about him was his deep icy-blue eyes which seemed to be half asleep and drowsy. He almost seemed... _cute._

I stopped myself thinking too deeply about a person I haven't even met yet, but it was so hard to not imagine what he would feel like...

I suddenly realised I was blushing, and along with that, that I was attracted to a... guy?

I stopped my thinking to witness him finally speaking, and with that Roger replied instantly and left in a hurry - leaving me in the mercy of this 'Person' I had never seen before, but had felt strangely attracted too.

It had been so long since I felt love rising through me again.

And it felt good.

I went straight over to the spare bed in the corner, I put down my suitcase, and I started playing my game. A weird awkward silence filled the room, until Mello finally spoke.

But I didn't actually hear what he was saying however, as I was too infixed in my game to understand, so I just nodded.

But I heard an annoyed grunt pass his lips, and I found my self looking at up him, giving me a glance that made my heart skip a beat. I was entranced deeply by his eyes, suddenly not as upset as I was a few hours ago - scanning his facial features over and over again until I noticed a tremble in his lip, and a tear running down his cheek.

I found myself smiling at him, something that 'Mail Jeevas' would never do, but 'Matt' found himself doing quite easily. I quickly realised I had become a completely different person. I spoke.

_"You know, you can tell me what's up, I am your roommate now after all..."_

_"But I've only met you for 5 seconds, and you expect me to tell everything to you right this second?"_

I found myself gaze even more deeply into his eyes and started to walk over, completely over-taken by the beautiful face that sat before me, that had only just started to cry with all his heart, crying so much his face turned bright red _in a hot, red fury. _

_I couldn't help myself anymore._

I then sat next to him, and embraced him in a swallowing hug that even he couldn't turn down.

I felt him hug back, and my heart really started pounding.

I found myself suddenly speaking.

_"You can tell me anything."_

I saw a slight blush dance along his freckled, pale cheeks, and I felt him cry onto my shoulder.

I knew he felt the same way.

_But how could I be sure?_

**HaHa, its a bit crap but ohwell.**

**Sorry about the wait for this one, I promise that the next one will be done soon ^^**

**Hope you enjoyed it!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! **

**And I just wanna give a quick shout out to brightnight003 and Z.270 for reviewing my last chapter :) xxx**

**THANKS GUYS!~**


	3. Chapter 3 REPRISE

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

**Hello again guys, this is the re-written chapter 3 that I have thought about for ages to make it better. I notice that I have also had a few emails from people to say that my story chapter needs a bit more work. Well, I have done that work. Please guys, don't be too harsh on me and try to enjoy it. Its not the best-est story in the world, but its one I'm writing. Over and out.**

**OH, and this story from now on will be written in 3rd person.**

* * *

><p>Darkness slowly swallowed all the light in the area.<p>

The air of the room suddenly became husky, and the sound of the raindrops which had quickly formed outside could be greatly heard by both young men.

Mello let go of his grip, and looked down.

"I'm...I'm sorry for this."

Matt just sat there, confusion in his eyes, staring at the robust young blonde who sat before him.

He was about to speak, when Mello's actions suddenly surprised him.

"I need to go now..."

Mello stood up, looked at Matt, then suddenly jolted towards the door, out of the room.

Matt was left sitting there, commotion left laying on his face, as he watched the blonde leave so suddenly.

He couldn't help feeling like HE was the reason for the boy's so 'sudden' escape. In fact, he was sure of it.

After about 5 minutes of thinking, Matt decided to think nothing of it and go back to his game. If the boy felt uncomfortable, then he needed to have some space to himself for a while, besides, this all went pretty fast for him to adjust too.

Soon, the heavy thinking that bewildered Matt's head was eventually drained out by the familiar sound of Mario trying to jump over the sea onto the oncoming platform, all in the name of saving the Princess Peach, to get the girl and save the world. One man, who happens to be a plumber and has a curly moustache...

He had become so distracted he didn't even notice Mello come back into the room on which he came out of.

Mello suddenly spoke, awakening Matt from his thoughts of a certain plumber and a princess.

"Listen...I don't want you to ever mention what just happened...to anyone in this hellhole EVER. What you just witnessed, is strictly between us, as roommates, Ok?"

Mello was greeted with a stern-full, 'OK' look by the red-head.

Matt sighed slightly, and nodded.

"Erm, Sure thing du-"

"And don't go around calling me dude either..."

"...Sure thing."

Mello walked over to the drawers of where he kept his homework and got out three science course books. He opened them and started to look at them in detail, making his desperate mind not think about what had occurred in _his_ room just five minutes ago. He wasn't sure if that was even real or not. It didn't seem real, to cry and break down in front of someone he had hardly just met, and embrace him like he did. Mello found himself getting distracted by his thoughts, and kept hearing the 'bip bip' noises of a certain red-head's gaming platform that eventually drove his head insane.

Mello eventually found himself re-reading the same line on the page over and over. He couldn't concentrate with all of these thoughts plaguing his head, and the noises that seemed to emanate from the other side of his room. He had to say something, something to make it _peaceful_ again...

Mello looked over.

"...You think you could keep it down a bit?"

He was met by silence.

Mello groaned, and tried again.

"Hey, you listening?"

Matt looked up at the blonde and scanned his choice of clothing.

"What, is my game bothering you?"

"As a matter of fact, it is, and I tend to not listen to anything when I'm trying to study..."

"Dude, sorry I'll turn it down..."

The room suddenly became a much quieter place for gamer and control freak alike.

Then Mello spoke again.

"What did I say about calling me dude, don't do it."

"...Why?"

"...It annoys me."

"Why does it annoy you?"

"...I hate it when people don't use my name when they address me."

"Oh...right, ok."

A silence filled the room again before blue eyes became entranced with guilt, and spoke once more.

"Listen...Matt...I-I'm sorry about hugging you like that and getting angry, out of the blue, I mean. I was so confused about what was going on, that I forgot about how people would feel like around me, and I couldn't control myself..."

Matt heard the blonde speak, put down his game, and looked at him through his goggles.

He smiled, a tad of sadness spoke at the corner of his lips.

"You know, I've been through allot recently too."

"Really?" Mello put down his book and rested it on the corner of his bed. "Like what?"

"Well," Matt hesitantly started - "M-My mum committed suicide in my bathroom at my, now 'old' home, and my Dad had died from overdose on certain drugs, and I don't have any other family, so the people in suits decided to bring me over to this miserable place,"

Matt's lips quivered, moving silently. He moved his head towards his lap, his hands covering what may have been a tear of sadness.

Mello was about to say something, but hesitated. He looked at Matt, shifted his glance over to the science books he was carefully balancing on his bedside, and looked back at Matt.

"...God damn," Mello finally said, as if a person had actually told him to say something. "...And I thought I was the one with the horrible back story, dude I feel sorry for you..."

Matt quickly jolted his head in Mello's direction, and quickly spoke.

"I-I thought you didn't want to use the word 'dude' when addressing each other..."

His facial expression quickly progressed from a depressed to a bewildered look. This sudden change had caused Matt to suddenly shiver and cover his arms with his hands.

Mello spoke again.

"...I've kinda just now changed that rule Matt..."

Matt thought that this challenging person in his room was kinda weird, the way he would change emotionally so suddenly. A puzzled look took over his features as confusion swept over his face. He looked down at his hands again.

"...You know, If I change a rule like that, it means something, the least you could do is say thank you."

Matt laughed at this man's ignorance. '_Is he always like this?'_ He thought, '_And will I ever actually get used to it? He is my new room mate after all.'_

His thoughts were interrupted when Mello coughed his throat.

"Damn, you must be a bit stupid or something to not get this, dude, it means you, pass...the test."

Matt looked up at Mello again.

"Wh-what do you mean? What test?"

"I mean the test of your ignorance, you've passed it. Which means that you can now become my new friend."

Mello looked around the room they were in, and sighed. He looked back at Matt, pressed his lips together in a pout, and then just stood up and stretched his arms in the process. He looked at a confused red-head and sat down again, reaching for the science books he had balanced next to him.

"You know, I think that we should both just put the past behind us, bury it in dirt and never have to see it again, other wise we can't move on in life and we'll eventually get buried deep in shit, won't we?"

These wise words were surprising to hear from a person of Mello's personality and domineer, and it seemed that even Matt knew this too.

Matt shifted his glance to the floor for a few seconds, then back to Mello, looking like he had nothing new to say.

"...Yeah"

"Well then, I think we should just start afresh, don't you think? Only if your willing to co-operate on how I run things around here..."

"...I should think we could..."

Mello suddenly smiled a bit, which seemed to magnify his face entirely, making it look different.

"...Ok then, Dude."

"...Yeah...Dude..."

Matt's stare had casually turned into a douse, and his vision had become sub-consciously blurry. He simply nodded his head in the manner he always did, then turned to grab his DS back from the invisible grasp of the warm, pungent air.

Mello laughed a bit.

"Damn, you always this dizzy?"

Matt smiled a long forgotten smile, and just looked up.

"...No, I'm really not."

"You sure? Because I might have to change that, it'll get on my nerves too much."

"...Well, Ok then."

* * *

><p>That day is what made the two wammy house orphans try to forget about their past and move on. Unsurprisingly, this was incredibly hard for Mello to actually achieve, I mean words are just words right?<p>

As for Matt, he felt safer in a room he had never slept in. He wasn't exactly sure why himself, but he knew that his brain would work it out for him as he went along the road, to wherever he was going.

He wasn't sure,

but he wasn't afraid either.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey Guys, I'm really sorry for the long wait - Life has really been catching up to me, with exams and studying and homework and love life and shit, but I will from now on try to deliver chapters more often for you all.<strong>

**I hope you don't hate me for how i've re-wrote this. Chapter 4 shall be coming soon, I promise.**

**Okay, so now I have your attention, I would like to suggest something I'm gonna try and do. I'm thinking of writing a few other slash/hetro fiction couples from a two of my favorite games - Final Fantasy (7+) and the Kingdom Hearts Saga, but I'm not actually sure what to write about, as in plot wise. So, if any of you smart, creative people out there have any ideas on what I could do, please do tell me, I'd love to hear it. ^-^**

**Review?**


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